After a semester of being burned
out and after not having been able to write anything for what seems like too
long, I woke up surrounded by 2015, floating in the seemingly unreal air of
blitheness.
Sometime during my teenage years
with superfluously agonizing but typical teenage problems, I learned an
important lesson: human memory is selective. You remember what you choose; and
your experiences are shaped accordingly.
Here comes another key to
happiness.
I’ve since been learning to master
the act of selective memory. When I speak to my friends now, I’m often
surprised at how much they remember, or, in other words, how much I’ve
forgotten. The very fortunate me has been training my own brain to forget the sorrowful
pieces, let it be people, remote incidents, or periods of ongoing pain.
Half-consciously, I’ve handpicked the silver linings in the storms and
discarded the rest. Regarding happy periods, I revisit them often to ensure
they are preserved in pristine condition as best as my flaw-ridden human brain
can provide.
I don’t believe in revenge,
perhaps because I am too plain to work out an elaborate revenge plan, and
because I know too well how little I control the universe. Sadly, I witness –
and am myself a victim of – cruelty that bitter individuals exercise when they
themselves suffer in the past. No, I’m no longer too naïve. Dreaming of changing
them would be too ambitious; but I have been breaking the cycle when it gets to
me. All the resentful hatred, worded vaguely as “I suffered in my time, so I
shall make you guys suffer” ends at me. My motto becomes "I suffer now, so I will never make someone suffer like me." Making some people smile again surely adds to my “silver lining
playbook.”
Isn’t the best revenge to repay
evil with blessing?
Tell you what? It works. If
there’s one thing I know, it is that I am happier than I could ever be had I chosen
to bear the grudge.
Truth is: We all have some
power in putting an end to our own misery and building our own happiness. No
one can be sad forever. And that’s how the world goes round.
