Live Slow Or Why I'm Lazy

I’d been obsessed with "efficiency" and "effectiveness." Oftentimes, I use calendars and Post-It notes; I try to set up a daily routine and follow it; I diligently read “7 Habits of Highly Productive People.” I keep a checklist to constantly cross off "done" items.

…Until a few months ago, senioritis hit and I realized: like everyone else, I enjoy procrastinating.

I'm lazy and I love it! Why fight our human nature? Why does "procrastination" carry such a negative connotation? I live to enjoy life, not to burn it out as fast as possible. I'm one who savors the melting sensation of chocolate ice cream on the tip of my tongue, not one who downs a Big Mac in 5 minutes while walking back to the work desk. We're all rushing, to where?

Because life is so much more beautiful when you Live Slow. Sure, life is short, but isn't its ephemeralness precisely the reason why each moment should be cherished? In this day and age, where 8 out of 10 job postings require candidates to perform well in a "fast-paced environment," hasn’t unwinding become a luxury?

Isn’t it irrational to overwork yourself to the point of exhaustion for money, then overspending it on alcohol, drugs, spas, fancy vacations, and therapists in the name of “de-stressing,” then start all over? Why not living without that stress to begin with?

We’re only young/middle-aged/old once, so take time to enjoy, to live, to remember, and to love the ones and the things that might no longer be with us tomorrow. Don’t rush, for one thing is certain: in the end we all die anyway J.

For now, I'm gonna take a nap.

Almost Graduation!

Graduation is coming.

Perhaps, a day, a month, a year, a decade from graduation, I will regret what I say now. I will miss college, I will turn nostalgic and reminisce on the good old days, because we never know what we’ve got till it’s gone.

Not today though.

The college I’ve been attending for the past 5 semesters is a commuter school, with no dorms, little school spirit, and no “real college experience.” Classes have no windows, so gloom is the key theme. Corridors are baked in a dull cream tone with no decorations. Unlike the smiling faces I encounter when visiting some places, most people look so stressed and bored that they seem to rather be anywhere but there. Most students come only for classes then leave as fast as possible. Conversations revolve around little more than jobs, classes, and internships.

I’d wanted to go to a college where being 23 is considered old.  I’d wanted to be immature and act goofy. I felt robbed of my should-have-been carefree years. I wanted to have fun, which shouldn’t have been that hard.

But I made it out alive, and I’m so proud of myself for it! I'm that much more of a warrior precisely because I didn’t go to a dream school. I struggled and fought at a place where students commit suicide or and are so depressed that the school seals library windows so they can’t jump out. Little do they know if one wants to do something, he will find a way.

After all that, I won.

Good things happened, too. I met a few amazing professors who gave me wonderful guidance and truly believed in me, even when my self-doubt took over. I met superhero students who hold 2 jobs, have a baby and go to class full-time (!). I did some kick-ass extracurricular activities. I met great people, some of which I won’t be in touch with in the future, but I had fun while it last. If you’re reading this, chances are at least once you made me very happy, so thank you!

I remember when I was finally done with high school, I felt as if a million-pound sandbag was lifted off my back. I have to say despite all the negatives, college has been indefinitely many times better. Still, I’m delighted to be done. I did what I needed to do, save a few regrets here and there. I managed to stay happy. I bruised and learned from mistakes. I’m embarrassed to be this cliché, but above all, I made memories that I will never forget.

I’m ready to move on.

PS: To those who feel like the 4 years of college are the best of your life, lucky you! One of my best friends cried rivers 2 weeks ago as he graduated from his close-knit, fun-loving liberal arts college. I envy him. For my part, I hold my fingers crossed that the best years of my life are just beginning…

My Baby Juliette

To all past/current/future pet owners and animal lovers:

I, until very recently, could not hold her for more than 10 seconds without her trying to escape from me. All cat owners know this feeling: “Cats are just cats.”

Two Sundays ago, the switch of trust flipped.

Jul came to me on the couch, sniffing, inspecting carefully. Slowly, she crawled onto me, and after much further inspection, she settled down for a nap.

I had grocery shopping to do and dinner to make, but I dared not move.

Time halted. I was awestruck. My heart quietly bathed in joy, a kind so pure it washed my blues away. That moment, the little creature decided to give me her heart and slaked my thirst for peace and certainty. Even if the world had come crashing down right there, right then, I knew I was loved. That alone was enough.

**

Bio

Juliette is a 2½-year-old orange tabby feline. I got her from Manhattan Animal Care & Control on October 1^st, 2013, which became her unofficial birthday. Her name was decided on the spot when the vet asked me “What’s your cat’s name?” and I had 3 seconds to answer. I abbreviated it to “Jul” as my cat-expert friends advised that cats don’t remember multi-syllable names.

Jul, unlike the delicate connotation of her name, is ALWAYS HUNGRY, NO MATTER HOW MUCH I FEED HER. Like owner, like pet? She has learned to open doors for bedrooms, bathroom, wardrobes, trashcans, and kitchen cupboard. She dives into my roommate’s, my roommate’s dog and my food whenever we leave it unattended for more than 10 seconds.

She lets me trim her nails, spray her with dander removal (to stop my allergy), brush her, and carry her upside down with surprising patience. Due to my allergy, I seldom let her in my bedroom and close the door when I sleep. Every morning, she waits outside my door, lying tummy down on my slippers, patiently waiting for me to say good morning. Every evening, she storms to the front door to greet me after a long day apart.

It took 7 months for Jul to go from a scared and confused kitty to accept, then to like, to love, then eventually, to trust me enough to fall asleep peacefully on me. It’s been a gradual but sure, nurturing love, more fulfilling than I could have imagined.

When I adopted her from the high kill shelter, I thought that was the most meaningful thing I’d ever done. Jul was sneezing, which could have meant a capital punishment had she stayed at the overcrowded facility. In a way, by opening my door and my heart, one that was endlessly longing for a furry companion, I saved her life. If that’s not significant, I don’t know what is.

Does she know? People who think animals don’t have feelings have obviously never owned pets. Jul’s an irreplaceable part of my life; but I am her everything. There’s an unfailing sense of comfort loving her. In this chaotic world of unknowns, I hold on to the truth that as long as I love her, she will always love me. That sets her apart, and beyond any other human beings. You know there’s pay-as-you-go phone plans, and then there are unlimited ones? There, my baby Juliette’s the latter: Unlimited supply of love.

Things Every 20-Something Has to Do (Not)

“30 things you have to do before graduating from college”

“10 things every 20-something must do”

“50 things a girl must have”

This kind of title pops up every so often on my Facebook news feed; thus I must assume a lot of people my age read them. Usually, the lists include a vast array of things, from fun (go on a road trip), daring (skydive), incredibly kind (say thank you to your parents), to ridiculously laughable and possibly offensive (have a threesome, drink until you don’t remember the day before).

There’s a simple fact I would like to assert:

You are 20-something, not FIVE. Apart from obeying the law, you don’t have to do anything. No one needs to tell you what to do unless you are actively seeking advice from him or her.

It’s almost a no-brainer, but according to my mom, the 80/20 rule applies as follows: 80% of the population are sheep who blindly follow the crowd with zero doubt or questions. Only 20% are sensible enough to think for themselves. Human beings are herd animals; thus it’s deeply wired in our nature to conform. Nonetheless, while it’s all cool to follow what’s trending on Twitter or buy the newest iPhone, nothing bad will happen if you don’t.

A lot of those posts are highly opinionated anyway, and hardly factual. Truth is, if you don’t like what they write; it shouldn’t make your to-do list. For example, I assuredly insistently absolutely demand that everyone should travel abroad at least once in his/her life. But if you’re perfectly content with being in your small town, or you wouldn’t leave New York City because it is a small world in itself, be my guest.

The revised list of things every 20-something has to do:

WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT TO DO

That’s it. You decide what to do with your life, not some random other 20-something writer on the internet. What does that person know about you to give you orders? And that includes me too, which means you don’t have to listen to whatever rambling I just said. Act for yourself, Mr. or Ms. Grown Up.

(PS: Except for food. You should always eeeeaaattttttt)

22 things that make me happy - snacks for the brain

(Obviously the list is not exhaustive)

1. Sleep: always works, free, easy, can be done at anytime provided an agreeable environment (quiet, not too bright, with some soft pillows and a mattress. My NYC bedroom is smaller than a hole in the wall; yet the perpetual semi-darkness, together with the lack of open space, makes it a sleeper’s heaven. Side effects if overdosed include headache and slight confusion – especially if you remember your dreams as vividly as I do.
2. Good food: It’s a deeply revered family tradition: “ we eat to live, and live to eat.” Down side: I can’t count the number of times when I ended up with an upset tummy and less-than-flattering consequences that I would rather leave to your imagination, an empty wallet, food comas, and jeans that fail to fit.
3. Facebook chat, Viber, LINE, Skype, and Yahoo Messenger (Yes, I still use Yahoo): My way of connecting with people; my source of support.
4. Traveling: Another family tradition. I’m charmed by the exoticism of the new places, new people, new water, new air, and new everything else. I’m sure everyone who travels understands. And those who haven’t, well, do it.
5. Dark chocolate: I literally show withdrawal symptoms if I have to go without chocolate for more than a week. Moreover, I always choose chocolate-flavor-everything. The darker, the better.
6. Writing: another addiction of mine. I really have to write, about anything, or I feel like my brain would explode. I created this blog partly to satisfy my hunger for writing, so there.
7. Reading: good books are like chocolate for the brain. Sooooo good.
8. Music: another universal happiness-intensifier. I just wish I’d learned to play an instrument when I was younger, or that I could sing.
9. Animals: especially cats because I’ve owned a few. Rest assured, I also love dogs, fish, birds, horses, dolphins, whales, sharks, elephants, lions, tigers, wolves, snakes, polar bears…. but no rats/hamsters/mice please.
10. The Internet: seriously, what would we all do otherwise?
11. Nature: This and no. 8 are not mutually exclusive. I’m huge on sustainability and I get really mad when I encounter ignorant people who treat mother earth like we had 20 of her.
12. Rainy days when I’m warm, inside and not having to go anywhere.
13. The first days of spring: Having lived in a tropical country for 18 years, I never knew how beautiful this could be.
14. Live concerts: few things compare to the fan-girlish teenage excitement you get when seeing your idols live the first time.
15. Sex: is like unicorns.
16. Good grades: I like them more when they are not too hard to earn.
17. Tight, warm hugs: seem like a luxury in NYC. It’s really ridiculous how I’m surrounded by 8+ million people and a sincere hug is as rare as rain in a desert.
18. Silly talent shows: The Voice and American Idol (only season 7). I know, right? I can’t explain this one, either.
19. Chatting with friends while playing card games/monopoly/whatever game: something I haven’t gotten the chance to do in way too long. Oh well.
20. My mom: She is my everything.
21. Volunteering: I’m crazy, I know. All I can say is it’s incredibly fulfilling to see the smile on one’s face, knowing you brought that smile about, or when that smile is your own when you know you’ve done something good.
22. Completing things: such as this list. There’s a sense of accomplishment “I did it!”, even though it’s just a glass of milk.

Most are fairly general, and if you’re having a down day, try some. Eat your soul away, turn on some bubbly music, or “travel” to another part of town for an afternoon. I’m lazy, so if I’m sad, I go for the easy and the free. Remember, as cliché as it sounds, the best things in life are free.