Let Life Lead the Way

An incredible lesson that I’ve heard uncountable times but eventually sunk in this week: Life will never, ever go as planned.

Life won’t turn out how I picture it– and that’s ok. In fact, that’s wonderful! Every time my friends and I reminisce, it amazes me how I spent hours, days, and weeks planning my future just to have things spiral completely out of control, and then falling together more beautifully than I could have arranged. All those worrisome and sleepless nights with “I can’t” and “I hate” and “It will always be this awful” and “what ifs” proved themselves nonsense. It took many dark periods of failure, thinking I would never be ok, and seeing changes in front of my eyes, for me to learn this.

Looking back, I’ve got almost everything I’ve wished for when I was younger: avidly traveling throughout South East Asia, studying overseas, pursuing higher education (and kicking its butt!), learning more than I ever thought I would be able to, living in New York City while I’m young and zealous, riding elephants, bungee jumping, zip lining, backpacking on a ridiculously rock-bottom budget, spending all day spoiled rotten in five-star resorts, sleeping all day, not sleeping all night, eating food and meeting people from all over the world...

So why worry?

Then there are people who, God knows why, have been fond of me enough to teach me priceless life lessons. I didn't plan on meeting them, did I? Am I grateful they showed up? You bet. 

I’ve also only what I ask for, no more. I joke sometimes about being broke; but the truth of the matter is I’ve never asked for a lot of money anyway.

I’ve asked for a loving and supportive family and friends. I’ve asked for fiery adventures. I’ve asked for moral values and a brain – but not too much to tower my ability to let loose, have fun, and laugh uncontrollably until my whole body aches and until I’ve got the whole room’s attention on me.

Thus things I ask for today will come true one day.

Rambling aside, bottom line is I would never trade my life for anyone else’s (sorry people).

…All while I was frying tofu to serve with fish sauce and stir-frying basil chicken. The hearty aura of home-cooked food filled the room. Suddenly I realized I loved myself dearly, so dearly that I had to grab the phone to tell my friends…

…That I’m busy loving myself and I will let life work itself out.